When I Die

In this intimate portrait, Philip Gould wrestles with the meaning, and unexpected ecstasy, of impending death





Philip Gould was diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus in 2008, and in the summer of 2011 he was given three months to live. Filmed during the last two weeks of his life, this intimate portrait reveals Gould’s quest to find meaning in what he called ‘the death zone’.

Gould believed that for the terminally ill and those close to them, there can be moments of joy, resolution and inspiration just as intense as those of fear, discomfort and sadness.

‘I am not redefining death, I am offering another way to perceive dying. I have been offered an opportunity to live every moment until there are no more moments for me to live and for that I will be eternally grateful.’

Director: Adrian Steirn

Producer: Nicola Howson

Language: English

  • Micha Schellingerhout

    Beautiful video. Thank you, and rest in peace Philip.

  • Mark Folashade

    Thanks for the great video. I'm glad I could wake up to something soul-inspiring on a Sunday morning. Thanks again.

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